Hair obsessed...

So I had my hair cut a little last week to get rid of the q-tip/perm afro I was sporting.... It is a tiny bit better... but still a long way from what I would say is okay....

I much prefer the look below.... now that is an excellent wig and I aspire to have that hair - perhaps a little blonde for me, but long and luscious - thats tequila Barbie beside me (I would love to have her hair too!)

What to say?

I realize its been a few weeks since the last post, but sometimes I'm not sure what to say when there is some uncertainty and I have to do some processing myself - Jenny and I went to the oncologist appointment last month, where there were highs...lows...peaks and valleys - It was a little like a roller coaster ride, and we left still feeling unclear - It appears that the largest mass that was in my chest (mediastinum) has decreased exponentially, however there is still a pingpong ball remaining.... apparently the million dollar question of whether it is scar tissue....or cancer.... ??

So I requested a PET scan(Positron Emission Tomography), which apparently I qualify for because the mass is bigger than 2cm. PET scans provide information on metabolic activity in the body and can be helpful in establishing whether or not there is active cancer in your body. There is of course pros and cons to this type of scan (as it can produce "false positives" and open a can of worms) So that being said, we decided to pursue the PET scan.

I just returned from Sunnybrook after having this radioactive procedure done (The nurse injects you with a radioactive glucose tracer that runs through your body) It will take some time for "them" (I don't know who "they" are)to interpret the scan - and I won't be meeting my Oncologist until mid April - I am not expecting to have definative results, but it should provide some more pieces to the puzzle

The picture is apparently what a PET scan looks like - I asked to see my own yesterday, but to no avail....

I will keep you posted :)

Mid Winter Report....

Thank god January is over, that means one step closer to longer days and some sunshine (It seems there hasn’t been a lot of sun over the last month). Don’t get me wrong, I do love the winter, but appreciate the change of seasons even more.

I’ve had an oncologist appointment in January and most recently a CT scan this week – I’m to meet with the doctor again tomorrow and review – The anxiety that accompanies this appointment is like no other – I have fabricated all kinds of scenarios in my mind.

I don’t think I was a “high maintenance” girl before, but I certainly feel like one now – I am obsessed with my ridiculous hair, have acquired an overabundance of hats (my kca being one of my fav’s), have had eyelash extensions, wear more makeup than I ever have (that may come naturally along with the age thing too though) Energy levels are coming back, some days are definitely better than others – but it does take work to build any endurance.

This new cancer club that I have joined reluctantly has had its pros and cons; You know the cons, I'll try and focus on some of the pros....
Once you are in, it is very difficult to get out.
The members are really supportive
"Seize the Day" and "Live for the moment" take on a whole new meaning
You look at your friends and family in a whole new light; They are truly amazing
And finally, I've fallen in love with my husband all over again - I'm not sure how I could have got through this without him...he's awesome

A heartfelt thanks to my very special godmother – (she of course has provided me with guidance in my very strong religious upbringing..haha) She has been very supportive throughout my cancer adventure – she most recently sent me a parcel of 14 pashminas and wine to share with the girls who helped put our house back together so we could move back home – She was so moved by their actions – another amazing person that is in my AMAZING support network – I am one lucky girl to have this and I thank my lucky stars everyday

A new year!!

Here goes 2011.... We were very glad to say goodbye to 2010... and thought it might be nice to have a change of scenery for a few days, so we were fortunate enough to head to Halifax for a few days and try to start the year a little differently. We spent a lovely extra long weekend with our dear friends the Moffatts; ate a little lobster, a little hiking, laughing and watching the entire first season of Modern Family. We went to Peggy's Cove on New Years Day.....I think its one of the most beautiful places in Canada, and was quite tickled that we spent the first day of the new year there...

I have had many requests to see the hair re-growth - As it is coming in (very, very slowly) I am a little more comfortable showing my head - so here you go - its not pretty, so skip over if you don't want to look...

I have an oncologist appt next week, which in turn will start another onslaught of tests and scans - It has been a nice break over the last month from the chaos of cancer.

And finally I want to share one of the most special gestures that a friend did over the holidays - Sherri R had some hats made that signify strength and courage and KICKING CANCER ASS - She gave Riley, Colin and I each a hat and several of my friends also have them - (Colin's does not have a flower) It is so touching and the hats are awesome (as I am so sick of my current collection) Thank you Sherri!!

Best wishes to all in 2011.... Cheers, Kelly xo

Happy, Merry and all that

Christmas Holidays are just about here and the excitment is mounting - I have not been on top of getting out Christmas cards (not that I did consistently before), so thought perhaps this is a good forum to anyone who reads this...

Wishing all a very Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year....

2011 is going to be VERY different!!

Cheers, Kellyxo

Winter is here...

Its been a while since I have posted... I'm not really sure where to start. I have completed all of the radiation treatment which in comparison to chemo, was far easier to get through for me - I have been home now for a week and half, and don't have any appointments until mid-January. It's a bit of a weird feeling, as I have been entrenched in cancer world... and now I'm kind of on my own to start the recovery process.

My hair is starting to grow back, but it will be a while before I will feel comfortable just wearing my own head - especially because of the salt and pepper color! I have a few wigs now, so it makes it a little more interesting

I still have lots of wacky side effects from chemo, that I gather take a while to subside - I had my port out last week (which I will not go into the gory details, but it was not what I expected)It is nice to get that foreign piece of plastic out of my body, even though I would recommend it to anyone.

It is wonderful to be home and we really are enjoying the new space - It is a different house as you can see...

I had the good fortune of spending the weekend with my dear friend Andrea, who came from England for some business and pleasure - and we certainly had some fun... My friends Mary and Heather hosted a little party to celebrate the end of treatment... this celebrating is going to be hard to keep up at this pace!

There is a few feet of snow in Thornbury right now... its a little insane

Christmas is coming up quickly, so it will be nice to have all of this behind us... and I do believe that 2011 is going to be a much better year for us... I can't wait!

I am so fortunate....

Where do I start? There has been a fair amount of activity going on in my little bubble of a world the last few weeks and a few that might be noteworthy

First - Radiation report - I have completed just over 1/2 of my 18 treatments - It is a surreal experience as a giant machine has 4-6 people operating it, set you in a certain position and run out of the room while it makes space ship noises for 1 minute (I believe my treatments are quite short in comparison to others) I dont feel anything, but have a few side effects that may get worse but are quite manageable so far -

Second; I have been living in the city for the last few weeks with my good friend Jeremy who has been so accomodating to let me stay with him - He lives so close to the hospital and it is in my old stomping grounds, so very comfortable to be there - We have had some fun, and I won't post any pictures of the hillarious wig wearing nite with the boys - Thank you Jeremy!

Third - This past week was a short one for radiation treatment as Remembrance Day is a holiday, so I came home on Wednesday - I was completely taken aback, as 13 friends of mine had been to my house the night before and put it back together - They moved furniture, unpacked the kitchen, cleaned and just made our home start to be back to normal - They worked their asses off - I was completely blown away - I can't thank them enough as I am still in awe! Thank you to Marci for organizing and all of you for helping! (Jenny, Sherri, Rachel, Maria, Martha, Caroline, Lori, Krystin, Melissa, Leanne, Sue and Keri)

So I guess my theme this post is that I am so lucky to have the support that I have had over the last 6 months. I get goosebumps just thinking about it. My parents have been so awesome having us live with them for over 2 months and we can't thank them enough.... but it is so great to be HOME!!

Here are a couple of pics taken with my cell phone that aren't that great, but will give you an idea of the kitchen